Imposter syndrome meaning

In your career, do you ever feel you are not knowledgeable enough? Wonder why others may ask for your expertise and you feel anxious about it. Do you ever feel like you are a “fake“? Well, you may be experiencing imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome robs from having confidence, self-esteem, and joy. However, you can overcome imposter syndrome by adopting 4 easy practices. Let’s take a deeper look.

What causes imposter syndrome

There are many causes of imposter syndrome. Some people may experience imposter syndrome because they feel like they don’t belong in the profession they’re in or they feel like they don’t have the skills necessary to excel. Other people may experience imposter syndrome because they feel like they’re always making mistakes or they’re not good enough.

Whatever the reason, it can be hard to overcome imposter syndrome. If you’re experiencing it, it can be helpful to talk to someone about it. There are also many resources available to help you deal with imposter syndrome.

Signs of imposter syndrome

There are many signs of imposter syndrome. Some people might feel like they are not good enough, even if they are successful in their work. Others might feel like they don’t deserve the recognition or respect that others give them. Some people might feel like they are always wrong or that they are not smart enough.

It can be hard to deal with feelings of imposter syndrome. But it is important to remember that everyone experiences these feelings at some point in their lives. It is okay to seek help from a therapist or other professionals who can help you manage these feelings and improve your confidence.

Imposter syndrome in motherhood

Motherhood is the biggest responsibility a can have. I don’t know about you, but there have been many times throughout my motherhood journey that makes me question myself. Will my daughter eat this for dinner? Oh no, should I have disciplined my child today? Why did I do this or not do that?

There are more than a million thoughts that go through our minds every day when it comes to being a mom. All of these thoughts ultimately cause you to feel anxiety. The best way I can describe motherhood at times is the feeling of having a panic attack that never ends.

The parenting police

Be mindful of other parents that try to give advice about what is best, what you should be doing, or what you have to do. The majority of the time, it starts like this…”All you have to do is…”

When you’ve had a challenging parenting day, this will grind your gears, and this may enhance your feelings of not being good enough.

As mothers, how do we get through life in this way? By relinquishing control. It’s scary, but when you choose to let go of all of the small things, the big things will only matter. Big things like, hugs, saying I love you to your kids, spending quality time, etc.

Does this sound like a better quality of life for yourself and your family? Relinquishing control looks like the following:

How to deal with imposter syndrome

1. Be you

Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Speak up when needed. If you need time to yourself say it. Even if it’s just 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes can make a world of difference in changing your perspective.

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Someone may appear that they have it all together, but you are only seeing a small glimpse into their lives. You will appreciate yourself more if you are living in authenticity.

2. Remove the noise

It’s human nature to focus on the negative thoughts that we think about ourselves. However, I challenge you to reframe those thoughts. Allow yourself time to think about them but become aware that these thoughts came up.

For example, when a negative thought comes to you, write the thought down in a journal and also take note of what activity you were engaged in at the time, as well as what emotion you were having. This will increase self-awareness of these thoughts and help you strategize on ways to distract yourself the next time you have this thought.

3. Focus on your strengths

I bet there are so many traits about you that overpower those negative thoughts. Write those traits down and turn them into affirmations. Incorporate these in your daily routine and watch how you begin to see yourself differently.

It is also important to regularly reflect on your strengths and how you can use them to achieve your personal mission or vision. Ask yourself questions such as:

What are my top strengths?

How can I use my top strengths to achieve my personal mission or vision?

What are some things I can do to improve my top strengths?

What are some things I can do to increase my chances of success?

You will begin to see a sudden positive shift in your perspective. In therapy, we call this reframing or redefining a problem into a challenge. For example, if you had a to-do list of 20 items and completed 4, instead of focusing on not completing 16, you would focus on the fact that you completed 4. You can also be reframed by expressing gratitude for just addressing your list.

Focusing on your strengths allows your mind to practice balance, which is needed for everyday life.

4. Normalize your feelings

Normalizing feelings is a skill that can be helpful in managing emotions. When we normalize our feelings, we accept that we feel a certain way, without judging or trying to change our feelings. This can help us to feel more in control and less overwhelmed by our emotions.

Discussion about the topic in a group setting is a great way to hear other experiences. Groups are also a good way to learn new or additional coping strategies so that you won’t’ fall into a cycle. The American Psychological Association (APA) talks about ways to stop this cycle.

With the adoption of these strategies, you can soon get back to believing in yourself. It’s totally possible!